What is wrong with me and how can I change this asap???

It seems that your wanting all of your moments perfect and not wanting help or being looked at by men who definitely find you attractive shows maybe that you have had a bad experience in the past or something, i don't know for sure, because i don't know your history, but maybe it is repressed and that is why you feel bad after these experiences. I think that first you should try to come to some terms with yourself and allow yourself to slowly begin to get rid of the fear of attention and realize that you will get attention from men but the key is not to attribute it as a negative experience in your mind. Good luck in the future.